The day I got laid off from my job at Martha Stewart I was relieved. I loved the job. I really did but the relationship was over and I didn’t know how to end it and then it broke up with me. At the time I’ve been also hosting a radio show for the Martha Stewart brand on SiriusXM and then not long after that got canceled too.

在被MarthaStewart(美國(guó)知名女性財(cái)富人物)解雇的那天，我竟然感到很輕松，我很熱愛(ài)這份工作，真的。當(dāng)時(shí)我也在主持一檔和MS品牌相關(guān)的電臺(tái)節(jié)目。

On the day of my last show I got onto the elevator at the 36th floor and as it started to drop, I started to cry. Every floor took me further and further from what I had been, a magazine editor, a radio host, the person with the cool job to talk about at parties.

不久之后，那檔節(jié)目也被叫停，在最后一期節(jié)目結(jié)束之后，我坐上了電梯，當(dāng)電梯從36層開(kāi)始下降時(shí)，我最終還是沒(méi)忍住，開(kāi)始哭個(gè)不停，每一個(gè)樓層都見(jiàn)證了我的努力，從最初的無(wú)名小卒到雜志標(biāo)記、電臺(tái)主播，我是一個(gè)可以在派對(duì)上炫耀自己體面工作的人。

And honestly, I had no idea what I was going to do and quite frankly no one was looking for me. So I did what anyone would do in that situation. I was making some phone calls, hey, what are you up to, that I mention I’m available. I needed to get paid to do something, right? I mean, I live in New York City. If you’re not paid to do something, you’re not going to be there very long.

說(shuō)真的，當(dāng)時(shí)我不知道接下來(lái)我可以做什么了。而且，坦白地說(shuō)，當(dāng)時(shí)沒(méi)有一個(gè)人找我介紹工作，所以我做了在那種情況下任何人都會(huì)做的事情，我開(kāi)始打電話給我的朋友們：“嘿，你最近在忙些什么呀？”我會(huì)提到自己最近時(shí)間比較多，需要找份活兒干，我的意思是，我生活在紐約，如果不找份能夠養(yǎng)活你的工作，是待不久的。

With this idea that I had to know when I was supposed to do now, is to pursue this passion. It just bugged me. It always had and that’s because there’s a  dangerously limiting idea at the heart of everything we believe about success  and life in general. And it’s that you have one singular passion and your job is to find it and to pursue it to the exclusion of all else. And if you do that, everything will fall into place. And if you don’t you fail.

但是這個(gè)想法必須知道是你已經(jīng)道應(yīng)該做什么，追求什么的想法，它讓我感到煩躁，一直都是。這是因?yàn)樵谖覀兊膬?nèi)心深處有一種非常危險(xiǎn)的，險(xiǎn)隘的想法關(guān)于成功以及生活，那就是每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該有一份熱情，你的任務(wù)就是找到它，接著把它發(fā)揮到極致，如果你找到了找份熱情，其余一切都不用操心了，如果沒(méi)有找到，就是失敗。

The pressure starts really young and it goes your whole life but it’s perhaps most pronounced when you’re graduating from school, right? Wow, the world at your feet, what are you going to do now? And it’s so intimidating it’s like picking a major for life. I had a hard time picking a major for four years and I changed that once if not twice. 

這種壓力，從小時(shí)候就開(kāi)始了，并且伴隨了我的整個(gè)人生，不過(guò)感受最深切的時(shí)候，應(yīng)該是從學(xué)校畢業(yè)時(shí)。每個(gè)人都會(huì)對(duì)你說(shuō)“哇喔，世界就在你的腳下，接下來(lái)你打算做些什么呢？”就好像在選擇專業(yè)，在為人生選擇專業(yè)，要知道，為大學(xué)四年選擇一個(gè)專業(yè)就已經(jīng)足夠我糾結(jié)的了，而且還換了一次專業(yè)，差點(diǎn)還換了兩次。

I mean it was like just intimidating. And this compelling, I mean this really forceful cultural imperative to choose your passion is stressful to me but it’s not just me. Everyone I talked to agrees with me. The woman who sold me this dress, I told her what I needed to dress for when I was talking about and she said, oh my gosh, I really need to hear this  talk because I just graduate from school, my friends and I we don’t know what we’re passionate about. We don’t know what we’re supposed to do.

我的意思是為人生選擇專業(yè)，那太可怕了。這種看似挺有道理的，強(qiáng)有力的，緊迫的確定人生追求的想法，對(duì)我而言，壓力很大，不過(guò)，不僅僅是對(duì)我，所有我接觸過(guò)的人都這么認(rèn)為，我們?cè)诖髮W(xué)期間不知道自己喜歡做什么，更加不知道接下來(lái)畢業(yè)后做什么。

I’m leery of passion for a few reasons. But one of them is that passion is not a plan. It’s a feeling and feelings change. They do. You can be passionate about a person one day, at a job and then not passionate the next. We know this and yet we continue to use passion as the yardstick to judge everything by, instead of seeing passion for what it really is, the fire that ignites when you start rubbing sticks together. 

我對(duì)熱情這個(gè)詞非常警惕，其中一個(gè)原因是熱情不是一個(gè)計(jì)劃，熱情是一種感覺(jué)，而感覺(jué)是會(huì)變的，你可以今天對(duì)一個(gè)人，一份工作很有熱情，第二天就不在了。雖然大部分的人都懂這個(gè)道理，但我們?nèi)匀坏妹つ康赜谩盁崆椤弊鳛闃?biāo)準(zhǔn)來(lái)判斷每件事情是否值得去做而并沒(méi)有弄清楚“熱情”到底是什么，它是把所有火柴點(diǎn)燃時(shí)的那一團(tuán)火光嗎？

Anyway I was such a mess when I was in my twenties, such a mess, I was anxious and depressed and had no life to speak of. I was tempting to keep my options open and I was sitting around at night in my underwear watching Seinfeld reruns, actually I still do that, that’s not the worst thing in the world to do. Fine.

在二十幾歲時(shí)，我的生活一團(tuán)糟糕，簡(jiǎn)直是糟透了，那時(shí)我很焦慮、抑郁，我沒(méi)有任何生活可言，任由機(jī)會(huì)從身邊溜走，穿著內(nèi)衣在家里看劇。其實(shí)現(xiàn)在也會(huì)這樣，不過(guò)這不是世界上最糟糕的事情。

But I called my mother every night crying and I was turning away perfectly good fulltime jobs, why because I was afraid. I was sure that I would pick the wrong one and get on the wrong train headed to the wrong future. My mother begged me to please take a job, any job, you’re not going to be stuck. You’re stuck now. You don’t create your life first and then live it. You create it by living it, not agonizing about it. She’s right, she’s always right.

當(dāng)時(shí)每晚我都會(huì)哭著給我媽媽打電話，我拒絕了一個(gè)非常好的工作機(jī)會(huì)。為什么？因?yàn)槲液ε拢?dāng)時(shí)我很確信自己會(huì)做錯(cuò)決定，坐上一班錯(cuò)誤的列車，駛向錯(cuò)誤的未來(lái)。當(dāng)時(shí)我媽媽懇切地和我說(shuō)“找一份工作吧，任何工作，你不會(huì)被困住的，現(xiàn)在的你才是被困住了?！辈皇窍葎?chuàng)造人生，再去過(guò)好它的，是一邊生活，一邊創(chuàng)造人生的，而不是整天抱怨。她是對(duì)的，我媽媽總是對(duì)的。

And so I took a full time job as an assistant at a management consulting firm where I knew nothing about nothing. Okay, zero. Except I knew I had a reason to get up in the morning, get showered, leave the house and people who are waiting for me when I got there. And I got a paycheck every two weeks and that is as good a reason to take a job as any. 

所以我找了一份全職工作，作為一名助理，一個(gè)管理咨詢公司的助理，當(dāng)時(shí)我對(duì)管理咨詢一點(diǎn)兒都不了解，一無(wú)所知，除了知道每天必須早起，必須去沖澡，走出家門，在公司里，有一群等我來(lái)做的事兒的人，每月會(huì)收到工資，這是一個(gè)最好的需要找一份工作的理由。

Did I know that — if I want to be an office administrator for the rest of my life? No, I had no idea, truly. But this idea that everything you’re supposed to do should fit into this passion vertical is unrealistic. You show me someone who washes windows for a living and I will bet you $1,000,000 if not because he has a passion for clean glass.

如果你問(wèn)我，當(dāng)時(shí)我知道自己下半輩子就想成為一個(gè)辦公室主任么？不！我當(dāng)然不知道！當(dāng)時(shí)這種想法，每一件你應(yīng)該做的事情都必須符合自己熱情的想法是不切實(shí)際的，叫我說(shuō)，那是搞精英主義，如果你告訴我一個(gè)以擦窗戶為生的人，我用一百萬(wàn)美元和你打賭，那絕不是因?yàn)樗麑?duì)把窗戶擦干凈有熱情。

One of my favorite columns is a piece by Dilbert creator Scott Adams. He wrote a piece in The Wall Street Journal few years ago about how he failed his way to success and one of his jobs was as a commercial loan officer. And he was taught specifically: do not loan money to someone following their passion. Now loan it to someone who wants to start a business, the more boring the better.

我最喜歡的漫畫家在幾年之前曾在華爾街日?qǐng)?bào)上發(fā)表過(guò)一段關(guān)于他錯(cuò)失成功機(jī)會(huì)的經(jīng)歷，他曾做一段時(shí)間的商業(yè)貸款專員，在接受培訓(xùn)時(shí)被重點(diǎn)告誡，千萬(wàn)不要把貸款批給那些追隨自己熱情的人，要把錢借給那些想要做生意的人，越無(wú)聊的生意越好。

Adam says that in his life success fueled passion more than passion fueled success. When I got my first job as a magazine editor in publishing, I was thrilled. But I had to take a pretty big paycut because at the time I’d been a catalog copywriter at a Wig Company. Laugh if you will, clearly you are and many many people did. But Wigs paid and so I had to figure out a way to make some  money. 

Adams說(shuō)，在他的人生里，成功造就了熱情，多過(guò)于熱情造就了成功。當(dāng)我獲得第一份出版行業(yè)雜志編輯工作時(shí)，我欣喜若狂，但是工資卻少很多，我必須要想辦法多賺一些錢。

So a friend of mine invited me to a jewelry party and I said what is a jewelry party? She said it’s like tupperware but with bracelets. I said, okay, got it.I went and I had the best time. I was there hanging out trying on jewelry and the salesperson’s having a great time and I was like, that’s a job. I could do  that. 

當(dāng)時(shí)有一個(gè)朋友，邀請(qǐng)我參加一個(gè)珠寶party，于是我問(wèn)，什么是珠寶party， “就是試試戴各種手鏈耳環(huán)”，她說(shuō)。我就去參加了這場(chǎng)party，結(jié)果，那天過(guò)得超級(jí)愉快，我在哪兒和人聊天，試戴各類耳環(huán)手鏈，珠寶銷售也很享受，當(dāng)時(shí)我在想，“這也是工作，沒(méi)搞錯(cuò)把，這工作，我也可以做啊”。

I mean really she seems to be having a great time. Now I had no background in sales — Girl Scouts, and I was terrible and I had no passion for jewelry. I mean honestly my earrings cost $20 combined all of them and then I was like I think I can fling silver jewelry to suburban moms drinking daiquiris. Yes, I  could do that.

我是認(rèn)真的，那銷售看上去真的很輕松，當(dāng)時(shí)我沒(méi)有任何銷售經(jīng)驗(yàn)，而且對(duì)于珠寶，我并沒(méi)有熱情，說(shuō)真的，我的耳環(huán)，只花了20美元。我當(dāng)時(shí)有一個(gè)念頭，我可以把珠寶首飾賣給那些住在郊區(qū)喝著德貴雞尾酒的母親們，所以我當(dāng)時(shí)就報(bào)名加入了。

And so I did it, I signed up, I became a jewelry designs rep and listen to me I was not setting the world on fire away, really. I was so like awkward and afraid of selling, and I got better, I got better. I started making some money. I started getting really passionate about it, not just because of the money but because what I realized is people bought at the stuff. They were happy to pay for it. 

所以我注冊(cè)了，成了一個(gè)珠寶設(shè)計(jì)代表，聽(tīng)我說(shuō)，當(dāng)時(shí)我并沒(méi)有一下子就成功。真的，那時(shí)很尷尬，我對(duì)于推銷非常膽怯。不過(guò)情況慢慢好轉(zhuǎn)。相信我，這件事情沒(méi)有一開(kāi)始就很順利，而是慢慢地好轉(zhuǎn)，然后我開(kāi)始對(duì)這一行有了熱情。。后來(lái)我賺了一些錢，比這個(gè)更開(kāi)心地是，我意識(shí)到，有人愿意為我的付出買單。

I sold so much jewelry that year. I won a free trip to St. Thomas. I eventually let my jewelry business go because my career path shifted, but I was so glad that I did that because it planted an entrepreneurial seed I didn’t know was there and that bears fruit to this day.

那一年我賣了很多珠寶，還贏得了免費(fèi)圣托馬斯島旅游的機(jī)會(huì)。這是真事兒，最終我成為了一個(gè)珠寶商人，因?yàn)槲业穆殬I(yè)規(guī)劃改變了，我很高興那時(shí)候我這樣子做了。那段經(jīng)歷在我心里播下了一個(gè)創(chuàng)業(yè)的種子，雖然我當(dāng)時(shí)并沒(méi)有意識(shí)到，但今天，那顆種子結(jié)果了。

Now as you know, an entire cottage industry has sprung up around helping people find their passions, write books, coaching, webinars, whatever and their  heart is in the right place, it’s great. I’m all about self-discovery. But when you ask someone what’s your passion, it’s triggering. It’s like upsetting, like oh my god, I have to come up with a good answer for this.

雖然今天有各種方式幫助人們找到自己的熱情所在，書(shū)本、輔導(dǎo)課、在線研討會(huì)等等，他們的初心是好的，很棒，我支持自我探索。但是，當(dāng)你問(wèn)一個(gè)人“你對(duì)什么事最有熱情”，這是一個(gè)會(huì)引發(fā)一些列話題的問(wèn)題，而且會(huì)讓人很焦慮，你會(huì)想，“我的天，我必須想出一個(gè)很好的回答”。

One of my friends is in her mid-forties and she’s looking at like what’s her life going to be now. And she’s like I don’t know what I’m passionate about. And she is legitimately concerned about this. She’s ready to hire a team of people, it’s like why are we worried about this, you know why, because you think something’s wrong with her. 

我有一位朋友當(dāng)她被問(wèn)到“你的生活將會(huì)怎樣的時(shí)候”，她是這樣說(shuō)的“我竟然不知道自己對(duì)什么事情有熱情”。 她準(zhǔn)備聘請(qǐng)一群人，這就是為什么我們擔(dān)心這一點(diǎn)，你知道為什么，因?yàn)槟阌X(jué)得她的錯(cuò)了。

I felt something was wrong with me when I was in the seventh grade and everyone was really in this like the rock bands and their actors and they would carve the names of those bands in the tables at the library. 

我以前也覺(jué)得自己有問(wèn)題。當(dāng)我在七年級(jí)時(shí)，我感到有些錯(cuò)誤。當(dāng)時(shí)身邊的每個(gè)人都有自己的搖滾樂(lè)隊(duì)，有些是表演社成員，他們會(huì)在圖書(shū)館的桌子上刻錄這些樂(lè)隊(duì)的名字。

And I never carve anything because I couldn’t think of anything to carve. I mean I liked Bon Jovi as much as the next girl but not enough to deface school property. That’s probably why I don’t have any other — I don’t have any tattoos either, I’m assuming that’s boring. It’s really boring, I thought something was wrong with me but that’s the fear, isn’t it.

而我卻從來(lái)沒(méi)有刻過(guò)任何東西。因?yàn)槲蚁氩怀鲇腥魏慰梢钥滔碌臇|西。我也很喜歡BonJovi和鄰座的女孩兒一一樣喜歡，但不足以喜歡到破壞學(xué)校的公物?？赡苓@也是為什么我沒(méi)有紋身的原因，我猜是這樣的。不過(guò)但是我覺(jué)得自己是個(gè)無(wú)聊的人，我覺(jué)得自己一定是有問(wèn)題的。不過(guò)那就是我們所害怕的東西，不是嗎？

That when someone asks you at a party, on a date, at a job interview, what are you passionate about, that you’re not going to have this wow compelling answer, and that that means you’re not interesting or ambitious or that you don’t have a singular obsession or scary talent that you are hiding, and that your life is not worth living and that’s not true.

當(dāng)有人在派對(duì)上、約會(huì)中、面試時(shí)問(wèn)你，“你對(duì)哪些事情有熱情呀？”。如果你無(wú)法回答出一個(gè)讓人驚訝嘆服的答案，那么久意味著你是一個(gè)無(wú)趣的人，一個(gè)沒(méi)有志向的人，意味著你沒(méi)有執(zhí)著的追求，你沒(méi)有唬得住人的才華，所以你的人生沒(méi)有意義，是不值得生活的。然后這一切都是胡扯。

Passion is not a job, a sport or a hobby. It is the full force of your attention and energy that you give to whatever is right in front of you. And if you’re so busy looking for this passion, you could miss opportunities that change your life. You could also miss out on great love because that’s what happens when you have tunnel vision trying to find the one. We all think we know the kind of person we are and the kind of person we could love. But sometimes we’re wrong, blissfully wrong.

熱情不是一份工作，不是一項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)，也不是一個(gè)興趣，事情是一股勁，一股把自己所有的能量和精力投入到你所面臨的任何事情中的勁。如果你忙于尋找自己的熱情所在，你可能會(huì)錯(cuò)失很多能改變?nèi)松臋C(jī)會(huì)，也可能錯(cuò)過(guò)精彩的愛(ài)情，這是因?yàn)槟惆阉械木Χ季窒抻趯ふ夷莻€(gè)“對(duì)的”。我們都覺(jué)得我們知道自己是怎樣的人，我們適合怎樣的人，可有時(shí)候，我們是會(huì)看錯(cuò)的，我們會(huì)犯幸福的錯(cuò)誤；

And sometimes you don’t know what you’re going to do next, right? I mean I don’t, I love not knowing what I’m going to be doing five years from now or what I’ll be into. And that’s okay, it’s okay not to know. You know why, because the most fulfilling relationships, the most fulfilling careers are those that still have the power to surprise you. 

有時(shí)候，你會(huì)不知道接下來(lái)該做什么，不是嗎？至少我會(huì)，不過(guò)我喜歡不知道，不知道自己未來(lái)五年會(huì)做什么、會(huì)喜歡什么，那沒(méi)關(guān)系！不知道沒(méi)有關(guān)系！你知道為什么嗎？因?yàn)樽盍钊诵老驳膼?ài)情，最令人滿意的職業(yè)，是那些依舊能夠給你帶來(lái)驚喜的。

And as for the things you know you want to do, you want to write a book, you want to start a business, you want to change careers, great. But if you’re sitting around waiting for passion to show up and take you there, you’re going to be waiting a long time. 

至于那些你知道自己想要做的事情，想寫一本書(shū)、想創(chuàng)業(yè)、想換一份職業(yè)這些都很好，而你還在等待熱情的出現(xiàn)，那么你可能還會(huì)等很久。

So don’t wait, instead spend your time and attention solving your favorite problems. Look for problems that need solving. Be useful, generous. People will thank you and hug you and pay you for it and that’s where passion is, where your energy and effort meet someone else’s need. That’s when you realize passion lives and realizing what you have to contribute. What do you think when you ask what they are passionate about, they say helping other people.

所以，不要等待。行動(dòng)起來(lái)，用你的時(shí)間和精力去解決那些你最想解決的問(wèn)題。尋找需要被解決的問(wèn)題，做一個(gè)有用的人 做一個(gè)慷慨的人，人們會(huì)感謝你，大家會(huì)擁抱你，也會(huì)給你報(bào)酬，而那兒，就是你的熱情所在。當(dāng)你的能力和努力能滿足人們的需求，你會(huì)意識(shí)到那兒就是你的熱情所在。那些就是自己可以做的貢獻(xiàn)。現(xiàn)在你應(yīng)該明白了，當(dāng)你問(wèn)到其他人他們的熱情所在時(shí)，為什么他們會(huì)說(shuō)“幫助他人”。

So don’t wait. Listen to my mother. Just start doing because to live a life full of meaning and value, you don’t follow your passion. Your passion follows you. 

所以不要再等了，可以聽(tīng)我媽媽的話，先行動(dòng)起來(lái)。不要跟隨你的激情，讓你的激情跟隨你。謝謝。