The brain gets a similar 'hit’ from love as it does from a small dose of cocaine.

當(dāng)你看到那個(gè)獨(dú)一無(wú)二的人時(shí)，體內(nèi)只需1/5秒就會(huì)釋放一種能引起精神亢奮的化學(xué)物質(zhì)，并對(duì)大腦產(chǎn)生作用。

對(duì)戀愛(ài)時(shí)期的大腦圖像研究顯示其中有12個(gè)不同區(qū)域都參與活動(dòng)。在想心愛(ài)的人時(shí)，這些區(qū)域就會(huì)在大腦里釋放一系列神經(jīng)遞質(zhì)，包括荷爾蒙，多巴胺，加壓素以及腎上腺素。大腦接收到愛(ài)的沖擊時(shí)就如吸食了一小撮可卡因那樣興奮。

Brain map of love and desire

產(chǎn)生愛(ài)與欲望的大腦圖像

The first study to look at the neural difference between love and sexual desire finds remarkable overlaps and distinct differences.

The results showed that some strikingly similar brain networks were activated by love and sexual desire.

The regions activated were those involved in emotion, motivation and higher level thoughts.

This finding suggests that sexual desire is more than just a basic emotion, but involves goal-directed motivation and the recruitment of more advanced thoughts.

Love is built on top of these circuits, with one key area of difference being in the striatum. This area of the brain is typically associated with the balance between higher- and lower-level functions.

第一項(xiàng)關(guān)于愛(ài)和性欲之間神經(jīng)活動(dòng)差別的研究驚人地發(fā)現(xiàn)兩者區(qū)域存在重疊和區(qū)別。

研究結(jié)果表明一些明顯相似的大腦網(wǎng)絡(luò)都是被愛(ài)和性欲所激活的，被激活的區(qū)域與感情、動(dòng)機(jī)以及較高層次的思維活動(dòng)有關(guān)。愛(ài)建立在這些大腦回路上，但有一個(gè)在大腦皮層的重要區(qū)域是與眾不同的，這塊區(qū)域慣常被認(rèn)為是用來(lái)協(xié)調(diào)高級(jí)功能與低級(jí)功能之間的平衡的。

Kissing helps us choose

接吻幫助我們選擇

Two new studies of kissing have found that apart from being sexy, kissing also helps people choose partners–and keep them.

In a survey, women in particular rated kissing as important, but more promiscuous members of both sexes rated kissing as a very important way of testing out a new mate.

But kissing isn’t just important at the start of a relationship; it also has a role in maintaining a relationship.

The researchers found a correlation between the amount of kissing that long-term partners did and the quality of their relationship. This link wasn’t seen between more sex and improved relationship satisfaction.

兩項(xiàng)關(guān)于接吻的新研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，除了涉及性，接吻還能幫助人們選擇伴侶并留住他們。

一項(xiàng)調(diào)查表明，女性將接吻看的尤其重要，但有一些身份更為混雜并由兩性共同組成的受訪者將接吻看成一種檢驗(yàn)新伴侶的重要方式。但接吻并不僅在開(kāi)始一段戀情時(shí)起重要的作用，它在維持感情過(guò)程中仍很關(guān)鍵。

研究者發(fā)現(xiàn)，擁有一段長(zhǎng)戀情的情侶接吻的次數(shù)與他們感情的質(zhì)量之間有關(guān)聯(lián)，但此關(guān)聯(lián)并未在性行為更多的情侶和對(duì)愛(ài)情滿意度更高的情侶中體現(xiàn)出來(lái)。

Couples look more similar after 25 years together

伴侶一起生活25后更有“夫妻相”

People who live with each other for 25 years may develop similar facial features.

One study has found that over 25 years of marriage the facial features of couples became more similar, as judged by independent observers.

This may be because of similarities in diet, environment, personality or even a result of empathising with your partner over the years.

朝夕相處25年的夫妻在面部上可能會(huì)慢慢呈現(xiàn)出相似的特征。

一項(xiàng)調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)，擁有25年以上婚姻的夫妻面部特征會(huì)更像，一些沒(méi)有參與調(diào)查研究的人也觀察到這一點(diǎn)。這可能是由于長(zhǎng)時(shí)間在飲食、環(huán)境、性格方面的相似，甚至伴侶間的移情也發(fā)揮了作用。

Long distance relationships can work

異地戀可維持

Contrary to the received wisdom, long distance relationships can work, according to new research.

Two factors that help keep long distance relationships alive are that these couples:

Tell each other more intimate information.

Have a more idealised view of their partner.

As a result, those in long distance relationships often have similar levels of relationship satisfaction and stability as those who are geographically close to each other.

與慣常思維相反，據(jù)研究表明，異地戀也可維持。

維持長(zhǎng)久的異地戀，夫妻們要做到以下兩點(diǎn)：

① 分享給彼此更多親密的消息

② 把另一半看得更理想化

這樣一來(lái)，和地理位置較近的情侶相比，異地戀的情侶通常也會(huì)有和他們相似水平上的愛(ài)情滿意度和感情穩(wěn)定性。

Four things that kill a relationship stone dead

四個(gè)扼殺感情的行為

For over 40 years the psychologist Professor John Gottman has been analysing relationships, both good and bad.

He’s followed couples across decades in many psychological studies to see what kinds of behaviours predict whether they would stay together.

There are four things that kills relationships stone dead: repeated criticism, lots of expressions of contempt like sarcasm, being defensive and stonewalling, which is when communication almost completely shuts down.

心理學(xué)教授約翰·哥特曼研究感情超過(guò)40年，研究包括美滿的感情和惡化的關(guān)系。在許多心理學(xué)研究中，他幾十年間跟蹤夫妻們的活動(dòng)，為了發(fā)現(xiàn)哪些行為能預(yù)示他們將來(lái)是否還能在一起。

有四件事能將感情斷送：反復(fù)批評(píng)；過(guò)多蔑視的表露，諸如諷刺；具有防御性；在交流完全無(wú)法進(jìn)行時(shí)，把自己和伴侶阻隔起來(lái)。

Modern marriages demand self-fulfilment

現(xiàn)代婚姻需要自我滿足感

The face of marriage has changed significantly over the years, according to new research.

It used to be more about providing safety and solidity, now people want psychological fulfilment from their marriages.

More than ever people expect marriage to be more of a journey towards self-fulfilment and self-actualisation.

Unfortunately in the face of these demands, couples are not investing sufficient time and effort to achieve this growth.

一項(xiàng)新研究表明，這些年婚姻的面貌已經(jīng)發(fā)生了翻天覆地的變化。這項(xiàng)研究的作者伊萊·芬克爾解釋道，過(guò)去婚姻更多的是提供安全感，更堅(jiān)固的支持，現(xiàn)在人們想從婚姻中獲得自我滿足感。

比往常都要多的人期待婚姻更多地是一次可以自我滿足和自我實(shí)現(xiàn)的旅程。令人失望的是，面對(duì)這些需求，夫妻們并沒(méi)有投入足夠的時(shí)間和精力來(lái)達(dá)成自我滿足和自我實(shí)現(xiàn)。

A simple exercise to save a marriage

一個(gè)小竅門就可拯救一段婚姻

If your relationship needs a little TLC, then there may be no need to go into therapy–watching a few movies together could do the trick.

A new three-year study finds that divorce rates were more than halved by watching movies about relationships and discussing them afterwards.

The study’s lead author, Ronald Rogge, said:

“The results suggest that husbands and wives have a pretty good sense of what they might be doing right and wrong in their relationships. Thus, you might not need to teach them a whole lot of skills to cut the divorce rate.

You might just need to get them to think about how they are currently behaving. And for five movies to give us a benefit over three years–that is awesome.”

如果你的婚姻需要些溫暖的關(guān)懷，不一定要特定治療-----只需一起看幾部電影就可達(dá)到成效。一項(xiàng)進(jìn)行了三年的新研究發(fā)現(xiàn)通過(guò)觀看情感片并事后討論影片，離婚率就減少一半以上。

這項(xiàng)研究的領(lǐng)銜學(xué)者羅納德·羅格說(shuō)：”研究結(jié)果表明丈夫和妻子能很充分地意識(shí)到在婚姻中他們可能做錯(cuò)或做對(duì)了什么，因此，你無(wú)需去教他們一大堆技巧來(lái)降低離婚率。你只需讓他們反思他們最近的行為。此外，觀看五部電影就能帶給我們長(zhǎng)達(dá)三年的好處，這真是讓人驚嘆。

The post-divorce relationship

離婚后的感情狀況

Even after divorce, relationships don’t necessarily end, especially if there are children.

A study of co-parenting post-divorce has found it can go one of five ways, the first three of which are considered relatively functional:

Dissolved duos, where (usually) the father disappears.

Perfect pals, where parents continue to be best friends.

Cooperative colleagues, where couples move on but remain on a good footing with each other.

Angry associates, where the fighting continues after the divorce.

Fiery foes, where children become pawns in the fight and usually suffer as a result.

夫妻的感情即使在離婚后也并不會(huì)終止，尤其在有了孩子之后。一項(xiàng)關(guān)于履行離婚后共親職的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，離婚后感情狀況會(huì)符合下面五種中的一種，而前三種被認(rèn)為相對(duì)而言是可以發(fā)揮功能的。

① 夫妻關(guān)系完全解除，雙親之一(通常父親)在子女照料過(guò)程中缺席

② 夫妻成為完美搭檔，繼續(xù)保持好朋友的關(guān)系

③ 夫妻成為互相合作的同事關(guān)系，雙方關(guān)系繼續(xù)發(fā)展，保持在一個(gè)良好的感情基礎(chǔ)上

④ 彼此尚有關(guān)聯(lián)但怒氣沖沖，離婚后仍爭(zhēng)吵不斷

⑤ 反目成仇，子女在爭(zhēng)吵中被當(dāng)成人質(zhì)，最終成為婚姻的受害者

It’s the little things

微不足道的小事很重要

Finally, as we live in a highly commercialised world where we’re encouraged to think love can be bought and sold, it’s worth remembering that often it’s the small things that can make a difference.

A recent survey of over 4,000 UK adults found that simple acts of kindness are often appreciated the most.

Bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed, putting the bins out or telling them they look good naked may all do a lot more than a box of chocolates or bunch of flowers (although these won’t hurt!).

最后，盡管我們生活在一個(gè)高度商業(yè)化的社會(huì)里，愛(ài)情常被認(rèn)為可以買賣。值得銘記的是通常一些微不足道的小事卻能改變現(xiàn)狀。

最近一項(xiàng)以超過(guò)4000名英國(guó)成年人為調(diào)查對(duì)象的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)最簡(jiǎn)單的善意之舉也通常是人們最欣賞的。為你的伴侶送杯茶到床上，倒次垃圾或夸贊他們赤裸的身體很好看。這些會(huì)比一盒巧克力或一束花有用得多(當(dāng)然這些也不錯(cuò))。

編輯| Fancy