What are the most common life mistakes young people make? 年輕人在生活中常犯的錯誤有哪些?
James Altucher
史努比說他想當Twitter的CEO,這聽起來挺可笑的吧,但說不定是件靠譜的事兒。
讓我用一秒鐘來告訴你為什么。
但是首先來談?wù)勀贻p人在生活中常犯的錯誤:
你可能有哪些想法?全球變暖?好吧,如果你要改變世界,祝你好運。戰(zhàn)爭?好吧,如果你要阻止游說業(yè)為2000億美元的辯護演化成戰(zhàn)爭,祝你好運。
她(他)應(yīng)該對我更好些的!再次…祝你好運。
人們對我說:“如果每個人都想得和你一樣的話,世界將會變得一團糟?!?/p>
哦是嗎?那我可以用一個字回答他(這個字將會破壞我后面關(guān)于維護自我的陳述)。
這個字是——糞
1890年,450萬噸的糞被撒在曼哈頓的大街上,這些糞來自載著人們?nèi)スぷ鞯鸟R。
那曾是當時最大的環(huán)境問題。報紙的頭條寫道:“到1950年,紐約城要被馬糞埋啦!”
你的看法對于這個問題并沒有什么卵用。紐約城的居民有著上千條看法,都沒能解決這個問題。
底特律熱愛機械的人們發(fā)明了叫做汽車的東西。
問題得以解決。
做你今天想做的事。接受結(jié)果。你越接受,越能得到好的結(jié)果。
你解決世界問題的方法就是你解決自己的問題。相信我。
你知道地球上有870萬不同的物種。你認為這些物種中數(shù)萬億的生物都是由于特殊的目的才出現(xiàn)的地球上的?就像他們?yōu)榱顺蔀楦鑴⊙莩遥蚴菫榱私忾_某個數(shù)學難題?
你的身體里目前存活著1000種不同的物種(我指的是物種,并非多達1000萬的個體器官)。你的嘴里就有80個物種,所以你還是閉嘴吧。
我們身體中最后一個進化的部分是我們的前額葉皮質(zhì)(譯者注:前額葉皮質(zhì)通常被稱為腦部的命令和控制中心。決策和自控等較高層次思考就在這里進行。),它使我們能夠適應(yīng)于不同的環(huán)境。其他物種是沒有前額葉皮質(zhì)的。
前額葉皮質(zhì)能讓我們從炎熱的非洲遷移到寒冷的阿拉斯加,或者是這兩地之間的任何地方。但也是前額葉皮質(zhì)讓我們認為我們有特殊的目標。
我們特有的小小的個人目標會為我們贏得嘉獎和稱贊,讓我們感覺良好。
其實不然。
但如果你年輕的時候這樣想我是可以理解的。
所以我們得出了一個適用于任何年齡的結(jié)論:有三四個特長或者樂善好施。
接著找到這些愛好的交叉領(lǐng)域。
然后在這個交叉領(lǐng)域成為世界上最棒的。這樣你就可以假裝去完成你的特別目標。
我說的“有特長”并非是帶有一定目的地練習一萬小時。也許是一千小時,甚至更少。
如果你有5個特長,那你就是世界上唯一一個投入1000小時到這些特長的交叉領(lǐng)域之中的人。
現(xiàn)在你在這一方面是世界上最棒的了。
你真的不必喋喋不休。
一個人平均每天說一萬個單詞。你可以說五千個,或者啥都不說。
前幾天我試著一整天都不說話。這挺難的。但是當我重新開始說話的時候,那感覺簡直妙不可言。我無比珍惜從我嘴里蹦出來的每一個詞。
但是當你年輕無知的時候,少說話。
比如你19歲,你想談?wù)勀闳穗H關(guān)系中的地位問題。
你才19歲,哪來的什么地位。
你造嗎?即使你50歲了你都不需要談?wù)摰匚弧:煤脤Υ?,你就會有很高的地位?/p>
如果你打了與你同居的人,你的地位不會有多高。喋喋不休是沒有卵用的。
這點對大多數(shù)事情都適用。
聽我一句吧。
或者更好的是,只是傾聽。
平均每個人有14份職業(yè),這一數(shù)字可能還在增長。
我的職業(yè)有:學者,程序猿,作家,網(wǎng)絡(luò)連續(xù)劇編劇,一家網(wǎng)絡(luò)設(shè)計公司的CEO,當日交易員,對沖基金經(jīng)理(譯者注:采用對沖交易手段的基金稱為對沖基金(hedge fund)也稱避險基金或套期保值基金。),金融作家,風投人,小說家,演說家,網(wǎng)絡(luò)企業(yè)家(曾開發(fā)過一個知名網(wǎng)站),交易員,研究提升自我的博主和小說作者,播客,以及一些我還是不說為好的職業(yè),因為這些職業(yè)比較尷尬,可能給我?guī)矸杉m紛。
年輕人會說:“我不知道我長大后能干什么?!被蛘撸骸拔蚁氤蔀橐幻t(yī)生?!?/p>
這兩句話99%都是錯的。
幾周前我收到一封郵件:“我是一名護士,我有一筆21萬美元的學生貸款要還,現(xiàn)在我甚至都不想當護士了,我該怎么辦?”
我不知道。你可能完了。
“我得長得好看(或是有一份好工作)才能找到男(女)朋友。” “我得先有一百萬美元才能寫一本小說,才能放松放松?!?br>“我得環(huán)游環(huán)游世界才能獲得人生經(jīng)歷?!?br>“我父母說什么我就得做什么。” “我得去健身房才能變得健康?!?/p>
這是很多人沒有認識到的現(xiàn)實。
有很多路通向那神秘的“Y”。別假設(shè)你認識這些路。
我前幾天告訴我女兒一些事。我說:“你知道我總是說的那句話嗎?”
她說:“知道?!偸谴嬖谝粋€好的理由和一個真實的理由。”
“好吧,那我再告訴你另外一個。
‘處處有后門?!?/p>
“那是什么意思,”她問。我們當時正在華盛頓廣場公園漫步。她很羨慕地看著那些經(jīng)過的大學生,我想她也想成為一名大學生。
“你不知道它什么意思也沒關(guān)系,”我說?!拔覜]法解釋,只是不要假設(shè)前門是你得到想要的東西的唯一一條路?!?/p>
現(xiàn)在史努比說他想成為Twitter的CEO。
這是不可能的。但是他說他能做到。也許吧,誰知道呢?
我敢肯定他的一生說過1000件可笑的事。但是你造嗎?其中的1%發(fā)生過,并且使他的人生大不同。
我們這些人沒說過這些可笑的事。所以沒有可笑或者精彩的事發(fā)生在我們身上。
“如果我不上大學,我就找不到工作。” “如果我沒有房子,我就沒有立足之地。我就會在房租上浪費錢?!?br>“如果我沒有錢,我就什么東西都不能買了。人們就不喜歡我了。”
社會的力量是強大的。我們每天接受到2500條媒體消息,告訴我們哪些事應(yīng)該做,哪些不應(yīng)該。
這2500條消息都是虛假的。我怎么知道的?因為如果它們是正確的,人們不必付錢來告訴你這些消息。
他們知道這些消息都是虛假的,所以他們付錢來告訴你這些消息。
如果你相信這些消息,你覺得自己能參軍了,然后你有兩個選擇A選擇參戰(zhàn),B選擇同時遠足和學習編程。
然而你不能。
(真正的軍隊是這樣的)
別讓媒體消息左右你的大腦。
別讓媒體消息預測未來。因為它們預測的是假的未來。
年輕人覺得他們不能離開。
我曾多少次因為害怕離開而多用一年時間維持一段關(guān)系,待在一座城市,一個崗位或者學校。
我害怕我的決定會真正地傷害某些人。
如果你不開心或者你想嘗試一些新的事情,你可以拍拍屁股立馬走人。
在接下來的60年里,許多人都會恨你。
事實上,你試著幫助越多的人,恨你的人就會越多。我不知道這條法則為何存在,但它確實存在。
你每幫助十個人,就會有一個人恨你。這時你就想辯解,想解釋,想爭論,想反駁。
你不能改變恨你的人的想法。無論如何,他們都是要恨你的。他們會在你的腦子里徘徊,讓你一醒來就想起他們。
在腦海中刪除他們。刪除他們的評論,他們的郵件,他們和你的關(guān)聯(lián),他們與你的任何接觸。你不能改變他們。你能做的是改變自己,對他們漠不關(guān)心。
恨你的人越多就意味著愛你的是恨你的人的十倍,只是他們沒有說過愛你。
/-/-/-
當他們冒犯你的時候,不要辯解。
/-/-/-
別忘了一點:
未來的你由現(xiàn)在的你主導。只有你。
你今天做的事會對你未來發(fā)生的事產(chǎn)生直接影響。
我曾賺過很多錢然后不幸地丟了它們,我害怕過,抑郁過,被欺騙過,逃避過,受傷過,哭泣過,我還自殺過。
這些都無益于未來的我。
在我處于最低谷和最黑暗的時刻我是怎么做的呢。那時安眠藥就在我的眼前,當我的孩子熟睡時我卻輾轉(zhuǎn)反側(cè),內(nèi)心處于恐慌中無法入眠。
但是我每天都會散步。
我不會再與我感覺不善的人交往。這對我來說非常痛苦。但是要比瀕死和辯解好點。
我會多與友善的人交往。
我開始每天閱讀。只有60%的人會在大學畢業(yè)后重新捧起書本。如果你屬于那60%,你就比每個人都遙遙領(lǐng)先了100倍。(譯者注:根據(jù)下圖我分析作者這里原文的數(shù)字寫錯了,為了方便理解,就改了數(shù)字。)
圖片翻譯: 關(guān)于閱讀的驚人事實 33%的高中畢業(yè)生在他們的余生不會再讀書,42%的大學畢業(yè)生在畢業(yè)后不會再讀書,57%的新書沒有被讀完,70%的美國成年人近五年沒有進過書店,80%的美國家庭在去年沒有買過或讀過一本書,孩子讀的書越多,越能理解他人的情感,每天讀一小時某一領(lǐng)域的書,會使你在七年后成為國際專家。
我開始每天寫下十條想法,然后我把這些想法告訴人們,我不期待他們有什么反饋,我只希望這些想法能夠幫助他們。
我努力使自己感恩擁有的每件東西。感恩我有兩條手臂,兩個女兒,一個朋友,慢慢地兩個朋友,然后三個。
你越懂得感恩,你越能收獲值得感恩的東西。
這樣做,我所有年少時犯下的錯誤都得到了改正。
James Altucher
Snoop Dogg says he wants to be CEO of Twitter. This sounds ridiculous but maybe it isn't.
I'll tell you why in a second.
But first: common life mistakes young people make:
- HAVE AN OPINION
What opinion can you possibly have? Global warming? Ok, good luck changing the world. War? Ok, good luck stopping the $200 billion defense lobbying industry from having war.
She/He should treat me better! Again...good luck.
People say to me, 'if everyone thought like you then the world would be a mess.'
Oh really? I have one word to say back (which breaks my later statement about defending myself).
'Manure'
4.5 million tons of manure were being dropped on the streets of Manhattan in 1890, EVERY YEAR, by horses carrying people to work.
That was the big environmental problem of the day. 'NYC will be buried in horse manure by 1950!' screamed the headlines.
It doesn't matter what your opinion about this was. None of the people living in NY solved the problem despite the 1000s of opinions.
People with passion for mechanics in Detroit made something called a car.
Problem solved.
Do what YOU love to do today. Surrender to the results. The more you surrender, the more results there will be.
The way you solve the world's problems is to solve your problems. Then trust.
-THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL YOU ARE HERE TO DO
You realize there are 8.7 million different species on the planet. Do you think the trillions of members of all of them were put on this Earth with a special purpose? Like they have to be an opera singer. Or solve a hard math problem?
There's 1000 different species (species, not individual organisms, which are around 10,000,000) living on your body right now. 80 in your mouth. So you better shut up.
The last part of our body to evolve was our pre-frontal cortex, which allows us to adapt to different environments. No other species has one.
This let us move from hot Africa to cold Alaska and every place in between. But it also is the part of our body that makes us think we have a special purpose.
Our own unique little, private purpose which will win us awards and acclaim and make us feel better.
We don't.
But I understand you feel that way if you are young.
So here's the solution and it works and can be applied at any age: get good at three or four or give things.
Then find the intersection.
Then become the best in the world at the intersection. That's how you can pretend to do your special purpose.
When I say 'get good' it doesn't mean 10,000 hours of practice with intent. Maybe it means 1000 hours. Or even less.
Then if you get good at 5 things you've now the only one in the world who has put 1000s of hours into the intersection.
Now you're the best in the world at that.
- TALKING
You really don't have to talk as much as you do.
The average human says 10,000 words a day. Maybe cut that in half. Or say nothing.
I tried saying nothing for a whole day the other day. It's hard. But it felt like magic when I finally spoke again. I valued every word that came out of my mouth.
But try to talk less when you're young and know nothing.
Like when you're 19 years old and you want to talk about the status of your relationship.
There is no status. You're 19.
Guess what. Even if you're 50 you don't need to talk about it. Treat the other person nice. Then your status will be good.
If you hit the person you are living with then your status won't be good. Talking won't do anything.
This holds for most things.
Listen to me.
Or better yet, just listen.
-YOU HAVE NO CAREER
The average person has 14 careers. And that number is probably going up.
My careers have been: academia, computer programmer, writer, 'web series creator', CEO of a web design company, day trader, hedge fund manager, writer about finance, venture capitalist, book writer, speaker, internet entrepreneur (made a website that got popular), deal maker, self-improvement blogger and book writer, podcaster, and a few more I'd rather not say because they are either horribly embarrassing or might get me into legal trouble.
Young people say, 'I don't know what I want to do when I grow up.' Or 'I want to be a doctor'.
These two statements have a 99% chance of being wrong.
I got an email a few weeks ago: 'I'm a nurse and I have $210,000 in student loan debt and now I don't even want to be a nurse. What should I do?'
I don't know. You're probably screwed.
- I NEED X TO GET Y
'I need to look good (or have a good job), to meet a boyfriend/girlfriend.' 'I need to have a million dollars before I can write a novel and relax'. 'I need to go to travel the world to get life experience.' 'I need to do what my parents say.' 'I need to go to go a gym to get healthy'.
Here's the reality that many people don't get.
There are many paths to that mysterious 'Y'. Don't assume you know what they are.
I told my daughter something the other day. I said, 'you know that quote I always tell you?'
She said, 'Ugh. 'There's always a good reason and a real reason'.'
'Ok, I'm going to tell you another one.
'There's always a back door.' '
'What does that even mean,' she said. We were walking around Washington Square Park. She was looking with envy at all the college students walking around. I think she wants to be one.
'It's ok if you don't know what it means,' I said. 'I can't explain it. Just don't assume the front door is the only way to enter something you want.'
Right now Snoop Dogg is saying he wants to be the CEO of Twitter.
That's never going to happen. But he can say it can. And then maybe it will. Who knows?
I'm sure he's said 1000 ridiculous things in his life. And you know what? 1% of them have happened and have created an amazing life for him.
The rest of us don't say any of these ridiculous things. So nothing ridiculous and amazing happens to us.
- IF I DON'T DO THIS THEN BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN
'If I don't go to college I can't get a job' 'If I don't get a house, I won't have roots. I'll waste money on rent.' 'If I don't have money, I won't be able to buy anything. People won't like me.'
Society is very powerful. We get 2500 media messages a day telling us our Dos and our Dont's.
All 2500 of those message are wrong. How do I know? Because people wouldn't have to pay to show you those messages if they are right.
They know the messages are wrong so they pay to put them in front of you.
If you believe the messages then you would think you can join the army, and either A) choose to go to war or B) go hiking and learn computer programming at the same time.
You can't.
(the real army)
Don't let the media messages program your brain.
Don't let the media messages predict the future. Because it's a fake future.
- YOU CAN'T LEAVE
Young people think they can't leave.
How many times did I spend an extra year in a relationship, or a city, or a job, or a school, because I was afraid to leave.
Afraid I had the power to truly hurt someone with my decision.
You can get up and leave right now if you are not happy or if you want to do something new.
- YOU HAVE TO DEFEND
In the next 60 years, a lot of people are going to hate you.
In fact, the more people you try to help, the more people will hate you. I don't know why this rule exists but it does.
For every ten people you help, one person will hate you. And you will want to defend, to explain, to argue, to respond back.
You can't change their mind. They are going to hate you no matter what. They are going to try and get in your head so you wake up thinking about them.
Delete them. Delete their comments, their emails, their connections to you, any contact you have with them. You can't change them. You can change YOU to not care.
The more haters you have, it means you will have 10 times the number of people who love you but are silent.
When they offend, don't defend. --- Don't forget one thing:
You are the coach of your future self. You are the only coach of your future self.
Everything that happens in your future is a direct result of what you do today.
I've made a lot of money and lost it miserably and got scared and depressed and cheated and ran and hurt and cried and was suicidal.
None of that helped my future self.
Here's what did, when I was at my lowest and darkest moments. When I had the pills right in front of me. When my kids were asleep in their bedrooms and the night kept ticking away in my brain, refusing to let me sleep, refusing to stop my heart from racing in panic.
I took a walk every day.
I stopped dealing with the people who I felt bad around. This was very very painful to me. But better that then dying. Or defending.
I spent more time with the people who I felt good to be around.
I started reading every day. Only 40% of people who graduate college ever read a book again. If you are in the 60% you are 1000x ahead of everyone else.
I started writing down 10 ideas a day. Then I started sending ideas to people, without expectation back, with the hopes that the ideas would help people.
I forced myself to practice being grateful for everything I had. Two arms. Two daughters. A friend. Then two friends. Then three.
The more grateful you are, the more you attract things to be grateful for.
And by doing so, all the mistakes I made in my youth started to change.
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