Son: Why are hen's legs so short? Dad: You're a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieces when laying?
兒子：為什么母雞的腿這么短呢？ 爸爸：你個(gè)傻瓜，如果母雞的腿太長(zhǎng)的話，下蛋的時(shí)候它們不就會(huì)把蛋摔碎嗎？

A man had two goldfish, he named one of them 'One' and the other 'Two'. He did this because...if one died, he'd still have two.
一名男子有兩條金魚，他給其中一條取名為One，另一條取名Two。他這樣做是因?yàn)?，如果One（有一條）死了，他還有Two（兩條）。
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye.' The bartender says, 'Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!' So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away. He comes back half an hour later and says, 'I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye.' Now the bartender becomes really skeptical. She says, 'I just saw you walk in here -- you can't be blind!' So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
一名男子走進(jìn)一家酒吧對(duì)酒保說：“我可以和你賭50美元，我能咬到我的右眼。”酒保說，“是嗎？我可從來沒見人這樣做過?！庇谑沁@名男子拿出他的玻璃眼睛并咬了一口。 生氣的酒保付給了這名男子50美元，這名男子就走了。半個(gè)小時(shí)后他又回來了，他說，：我跟你賭50美元，我能咬到我的左眼?！边@次這個(gè)酒保變得真的很是懷疑。她說，“我剛剛看你走進(jìn)來的，你不可能是瞎子！”于是這名男子把他的假牙拿出來要了一下他的左眼。酒保付給了他50美元，他就走了。

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife's first husband.” 一名男子將鮮花放在他已故的親愛的母親的墓前后開始向他的車走回去，這時(shí)他的注意力被另一個(gè)跪在墓前的男子所吸引了。 這名男子好像在及其強(qiáng)烈地祈禱些什么，他一直重復(fù)著，“ 你為什么一定要死呢？你為什么一定要死呢？” 先前的男子走過來說，“先生，我并不愿打擾您私人的傷痛，只是您所表現(xiàn)出了的痛苦比我之前所見過的都要深。您是在如此深刻地悼念誰呢？您的小孩，還是您的父母？” 一會(huì)兒后，悼念者回過神來，于是答道，“是我妻子的前夫。”