Being a good friend is about being reliable, kind hearted and thoughtful. If you're willing to be there through the hard times, stand up for your friend and to share your thoughts and cares with a friend, then you'll develop and maintain a friendship that endures and is reciprocated in kind.

• If you know you were at fault for a missed opportunity, own up. Simply talk about it and hope that your friend will forgive you. They'd most likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, 'Wow!' I've had an amazing friend by my side.' But, if you're changing, flip-flopping and undependable – that feels like you were not a good friend.
• Good friendship is based on trust – if you break a friend's trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "gee, I'm sorry." Instead, a quick call to say, "Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my husband is telling me we're going to our country house for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after work - that means I won't be able to make it. I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?". That's just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was. At least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.

Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep that confidence and don't talk about it to anyone else. It's what you'd expect in return and so be tight lipped about the matter. Don't discuss your friend behind their back and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you. Rule out gossip or backstabbing when it comes to friendship! Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their face.

• Don't let others say bad things about your friend and until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments about your friend that are not supportive as hearsay and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with something like: "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right. Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, I'll let you know. Until then, I would appreciate it, if you didn't spread that around, because that might not be what was really meant or intended…".

Be respectful. Good friends respect one another and show this by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect their choices and be open to listening about them. Don't mock or belittle what they believe in; instead, be understanding and try to keep learning. Over time, the differences will make both of you stronger and better people as well as stronger friends.

• Always listen to what your friend has to say. Sometimes your friend will say things that you find boring, uncomfortable or annoying but if you have respect for your friend, you'll override these feelings with the desire to listen openly and give your friend the space to say what is needed and to do so without judgment.
• There will be times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend. Rather than demanding that your friend changes their way of seeing things, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently.

Watch out for your friend. If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous or getting too drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the situation and to somewhere safer for them. Don't assume that they're big enough to care for themselves; this may be the very time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue.

• Don't allow your friend to drive drunk - take their keys and/or drive your friend home personally.
• If your friend begins talking about committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse first (unless those were the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.

Pitch in for friends during times of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags; if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school and give homework assignments when you know that one is absent and sick at home. Send cards and care packages. If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend the funeral – or cook and take a dish or a meal over to your friend. Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let the tears roll. Give a tissue and listen. Really listen openly. You don't have to say anything, just don't be too upset by hearing sadness or anger, or deep grief. Stay calm and reassuring.

• If your friend is going through a crisis, don't say: "Everything is going to be all right" if it's not going to be. This goes right along with keeping it real. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis as well as one might. Instead, tell your friend that "Whatever you decide or need, I am there for you." If the need is to talk: talk; if it's to sit quietly: sit there. If the need is to relax and get your minds off of things, offer to take in a movie or concert "together." Give a sincere hug. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would appreciate a sincere word or possibly a gesture of a "quick" hug, or a hand rubbed across the back for just "a moment," but don't overdo it.

Give thoughtful advice when asked, add perspective but don't insist that your friend does as you say. Don't judge your friend, but do advise your friend when they reach out for advice or when they need to hear a little tough love to keep them out of dangerous situations where they might harm themselves or others. Tell your friend how you perceive their situation using factual information, and suggest what you might do in the same circumstances. Don't be offended by your friend listening to your advice and then deciding to ignore it. Your friend must make their own decisions.

• Avoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice.
• Avoid saying "You should...". That may feel like you are imposing "shoulds" upon your friend and they're much less likely to listen.

• Don't be selfish. Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are big no's in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move towards more self-less people who are willing to give the same as one gets, but a good friend will not demand it, yet one might mention being tired of it. Even if you are a total wreck , don't expect constant sympathy.
• Don't expect, demand or abuse generosity or "wear out your welcome." When your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate quickly. Money isn't, or doesn't have to be, an issue.
• Don't compare labels, prices, size and value.
• Don't let your friend pay every time you go out, even if it's offered. Don't help yourself to things at your friend's house without asking, unless you are willing and that is desired -- and practiced at your house in turn.
• Go home when it seems like the time is right; don't be like furniture. Reach for the door knob and say "Bye." turn the knob, leave... No one wants to be friends with a moocher or to feel used.
• If you borrow something from a friend, take good care of it and then return it without being asked.
• If you end a friendship, consider returning any special gifts bought for you; it's good etiquette, so act in good faith.

Live by the golden rule. Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there through thick and thin as long as that is how you feel as a true friend. Don't begrudge everything as a favor that has to be repaid immediately.

• Don't use your friends as a measure of your worth – you have value.